Queer Late Bloomer? Here’s How Video Games Can Help

Happy Pride!

In this post, we’ll be taking a look at how to explore your queerness through video games if you’re a late bloomer.

What is a late bloomer?

A late bloomer is someone who is questioning or accepting their sexual orientation past adolescence and even into late adulthood. Realizing your sexual orientation and queerness later in life can happen for a variety of reasons such as a conservative upbringing, lack of exposure to LGBTQ+ culture, and negative biases or beliefs regarding LGBTQ+ populations. For some, they may have had inklings of same sex attraction, but it may have not been safe to come out. For others, realizations may have happened late into adulthood, after heterosexual relationships, marriages, and even children. Wherever you are in your journey, know that being a late bloomer is not a bad thing. There is no timeline and there are many ways to explore your sexuality and romantic feelings. 

One way is through video games! 

For decades, video games have allowed fellow nerds to explore their inner worlds through fantasy. Video games can allow people to experiment with different behaviors, traits, and perspectives, often allowing for more insight into their own personal experiences. 

There are many video games nowadays that allow for romantic exploration as well. Romance subplots in video games allow the player to befriend, court, and eventually date NPCs (non playable characters). Many of these subplots open doors to unique storylines and even spicy cutscenes. Delving into romance subplots as a late blooming queer person can be helpful in identifying your level of comfortability with romantic and sexual interactions. They can also be helpful for late bloomers who are in heterosexual relationships and are wanting to explore their bisexual/pansexual/queer side. Exploring sexual orientation through video games allows for safe and fun introspection. Also note that just like in real life, some of the relationships in games take time to develop and you may even strike out. But that’s okay! You can just load a previous save file like I always do.

Below are some video games with romance subplots. As you play through the games listed, ask yourself these questions:

How comfortable do I feel flirting and interacting with this character? 

What physical and personal qualities do I admire about this character? Can these be applied outside of this video game as well? 

Are there any negative beliefs or biases that I’m holding about myself or this character as I’m courting them? 

And now onto the games:

Stardew Valley

A classic “cozy” Role Playing Game (RPG) where you inherit your grandfather’s farm and build a life in Pelican Town. This game is very LGBTQ+ friendly, where you can romance any dateable character regardless of gender (considered “playersexual”). Relationships develop through gifts and conversations with characters. The cutscenes are also very good and there is a surprising amount of character development for a little farming game.  

Baldur’s Gate 3

An epic, fantasy RPG set in the Forgotten Realms, one of the worlds from Dungeons and Dragons. In your journey to rid the Realms of a growing evil, you gain companions along the way that can be romanced. This game is also very LGBTQ+ friendly where every companion is “playersexual”. The romance subplots are advanced through dialogue cutscenes that eventually lead to some sensual interactions, if done right. If you’re a fan of Game of Thrones and drama-heavy fantasy, then you’ll enjoy Baldur’s Gate 3.

Mass Effect Series

An oldie but a goodie! A science fiction RPG, where you develop a team to take down an ancient race of aliens known as the Reapers that are threatening to destroy the galaxy. This is an older game, so not every romancable character is “playersexual”. Some are straight and others are gay or bisexual. It still allows for some very good dialogue and meaningful cutscenes. 

Fallout 4

An open world RPG set in the post-apocalyptic wasteland of Boston. You play as the “Sole Survivor” of a nuclear attack, searching for your missing child. Trekking through the wastelands can be lonely, so Fallout 4 has several romanceable characters that give you some sweet perks in combat. Not all companions are “playersexual”, however most of them are. 

Dragon Age: The Veilguard 

Another fantasy RPG with fun combat and memorable characters. Players control Rook, the protagonist who is trying to stop ancient Elven gods from destroying the world. All romanceable companions are “playersexual”. Similar to Mass Effect and Baldur’s Gate, relationships are developed through dialogue, that eventually leads to commitment. The Veilguard also features a non-binary companion, Taash, an adventurous dragonslayer.  

There’s plenty more games out there with romance subplots of varying degrees. Some games focus more on combat and storytelling while others are dating simulators. Keep exploring and hope you have fun playing! 

~Stay posted for more nerdy and mental health related blog posts~